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Two blondes are filling up at a petrol station and the first blonde says to the second, I bet these awful fuel prices are going to go even higher. The second blonde replies, Won't affect me, I always put in just $10 worth. One day many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the n oise and called out: Are you okay, what's your name? It’s John and I'm okay thanks, I replied. Calls...

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What can you catch but not throw? A ship is at dock and the tide rises 3 feet. If the water level is at 4 on the water marks on the side of the ship, what is the water level read now? The water level never changes.it remains at 4. The ship rises with the tide. The water marks on the side of a ship designates load and weight capacity. MrRed lives in the red house. Mr.Orange lives in the orange house. Mr.Yellow lives in the yellow house but who lives in the Green house? Round like an apple, deep like a cup,.

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I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. Mae West. It is better to be looked over than overlooked. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Just keep moving forward and don;t give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do. People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining. Life wou...

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Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. About a year ago. It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand. Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'. About a year ago. As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. Georgie clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He replied, It was an ID ten T error.

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In ten minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined! Goat's milk is used more widely throughout the world than cow's milk. Snickers is the most popular candy. French speaking residents of Belgium are called Walloons. Interstellar space is not complete vacuum: there are a few hydrogen atoms per cubic centimeter. The geographic center of the United States, including Alaska and Hawaii, is located in South Dakota, 17 miles west of Castle Rock.

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One day many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the n oise and called out: Are you okay, what's your name? It’s John and I'm okay thanks, I replied. John, forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later. That's mighty nice of you, I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it. Oh, come on, Elizabeth insisted. Nice boobs, say...

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Q What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A A guy will actually search for a golf ball. What's the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. What's the definition of 'Macho'? Jogging home from your vasectomy. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick! What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common? They both like a tight seal. When th...

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About a year ago. Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. About a year ago. Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god. About a year ago. What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do. About a year ago. Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope. About a year ago. You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor. About a year ago. About a year ago. About a ...