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The Film Consumer: April 2011
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Monday, April 18, 2011. Little Big Soldier (2010) - ActionFest Buffet 2.0: Plate #2. LITTLE BIG SOLDIER (2010). Jackie Chan, Leehom Wang, Sung-jun Yoo, Rongguang Yu, Peng Lin, Xaio Dong Mei and Song Jin. Directed by Sheng Ding. Run time: 96 minutes. Rated: PG. The problem is someone else is looking for the general, and wants him dead. There are a few instances where the subtitles are misspelled, e.g., the word "small" appears as "samll.". Something to Chew On:. There i...
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The Film Consumer: October 2011
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Saturday, October 29, 2011. The Ward (2010) - Tricks and Treats Mini-Marathon. Amber Heard, Jared Harris, Mamie Gummer, Laura-Leigh, Lyndsy Fonseca, Danielle Panabaker, Sali Sayler and Susanna Burney. Directed by John Carpenter. Run time: 88 minutes. Rated: R. I purchased this on a whim. I was like, "Wow, Amber Heard. Directed by John Carpenter, huh? Kristen (Heard) is taken to a mental institution where the other residents are being terrorized by a ghost. Carpenter is...
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The Film Consumer: July 2012
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Tuesday, July 31, 2012. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) - It Bites. ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER (2012). Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Rufus Sewell, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jimmi Simpson, Marton Csokas and Erin Wasson. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov. Run time: 105 minutes. Rated: R. Abraham Lincoln (Walker) turns to vampire hunting after one of the monsters kills his mother. Will Johnson (Mackie) is a brand new character and plays a signifi...
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The Film Consumer: Gut (2012) - Maybe You Can Stomach It
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Saturday, January 5, 2013. Gut (2012) - Maybe You Can Stomach It. Jason Vail, Nicholas Wilder, Sarah Schoofs and Angie Ballaro. Directed by Elias. Run time: 90 minutes. Rated: Not rated. Needless to say, more movies need to be watched in 2013. Starting now. Tom (Vail) is a family man with a 9-to-5 job. Problem is he seems bored with his life. Cue Dan (Wilder), Tom's goofy best friend since childhood. Instead, Tom becomes unhinged. Make sure your pets aren't around for ...
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The Film Consumer: November 2011
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Friday, November 4, 2011. A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011) - Happy Holidazed. A VERY HAROLD and KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS (2011). John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Danny Trejo, Thomas Lennon, Amir Blumenfeld, Paula Garces, Danneel Harris, Patton Oswalt, Eddie Kaye Thomas, David Krumholtz, RZA, Bobby Lee, Richard Riehle and Elias Koteas. Directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson. Run time: 90 minutes. Rated: R. Harold's father-in-law, Mr. Perez (Trejo), and the r...
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The Film Consumer: May 2011
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Tuesday, May 31, 2011. The Heir Apparent: Largo Winch (2008) - ActionFest Buffet 2.0: Plate #4. THE HEIR APPARENT: LARGO WINCH (2008). Tomer Sisley, Kristin Scott Thomas, Miki Manojlovic, Mélanie Thierry, Gilbert Melki, Karel Roden, Steven Waddington, Benedict Wong, Anne Cosigny and Nicolas Vaude. Directed by Jérôme Salle. Run time: 108 minutes. Rated: Unrated. A news program misspells Ann Ferguson's name as Fergusson. Something to Chew On:. Is a Belgian comic book ser...
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The Film Consumer: December 2011
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Saturday, December 31, 2011. There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane (2011) - Drink Responsibly. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH AUNT DIANE (2011). Daniel Schuler, Jay Schuler, Dominic Barbara. Directed by Liz Garbus. Run time: 100 minutes. Rated: Not rated. I caught the end of this documentary on one of the HBO channels. So, I waited three hours and watched the entire film on the West Coast version. The stubbornness and reliability of Diane's husband, Daniel. I'm still n...
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The Film Consumer: September 2012
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Saturday, September 8, 2012. Foodie (2012) - A True Delicacy. Nick Karner, David Berberian, Jeff Alguire, Tony Hughes, Meredith Leigh Sause, Tracey Coppedge, Emlee Vassilos, Gilly Conklin, John Jimerson and Alena Koch. Directed by Christopher G. Moore. Run time: 29 minutes. Rated: Not rated. A friend and former coworker, Christopher Moore, has made some pretty impressive short films in the last few years: HARD STAPLED. And FLUSH WITH FEAR. First rule of Kitchen X?
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The Film Consumer: January 2012
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Tuesday, January 31, 2012. Harvard Beats Yale 29-29 (2008) - Don't Count Your Chickens. HARVARD BEATS YALE 29-29 (2008). Tommy Lee Jones, Brian Dowling, Frank Champi, Bob Levin, Mike Bouscaren, J.P. Goldsmith, Vic Gatto and nearly 40 other players. Directed by Kevin Rafferty. Run time: 105 minutes. Rated: PG. The Bulldogs took a 22-6 lead into halftime, and were up 29-13 with just over 42 seconds to play. Sucks that four-time NFL Pro Bowler Calvin Hill (Yale running ba...
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The Film Consumer: November 2012
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I devour mass quantities of movies. Saturday, November 10, 2012. The Campaign (2012) - Dinner and a Movie on the Ballot. Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, Jason Sudeikis, Brian Cox, Dan Aykroyd, John Lithgow, Dylan McDermott, Sarah Baker, Katherine LaNasa, Karen Maruyama and Jack McBrayer. Directed by Jay Roach. Run time: 85 minutes. Rated: R. Two dirty businessman, the Motch brothers (Aykroyd and Lithgow), urge Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) to run against Brady. Then, things get ridiculous. The funniest p...