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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: The Pube Trim Date
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2010/04/pube-trim-date.html
The Pube Trim Date. Went on my date with Natasha, a dental nurse from Wigan who I've been messaging online. Here's what happened:. Jump out the shower. Pubes are looking a bit bushy. Attack them with some kitchen scissors. No time to vacuum up the mess afterwards - need to get going. Pay my train fare with a crisp £20 note. Ticket man asks if I've got anything smaller. I have, but I don't like his tone, so I grunt in the negative. Notice thick blobs of mascara on her eyelashes as we kiss cheeks. In the e...
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: A Date with Depression
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2009/09/date-with-depression.html
A Date with Depression. Get chatting to this girl on Facebook - Joanna. A common interest in politics, three inches shorter than me - this could be it. A tad intense, mind. Offers her number, then initiates seven text conversations in one day. Next I get an email with some of her artwork. Bit weird. Turns out she has an unhealthy interest in dead celebrities. It's a little awkward at first. She won't make eye contact and I pick up an unpleasant odour: Dettol. Least she's got her glasses on. My feet hurt ...
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: The Shower Cap Date (1 of 4)
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2009/12/shower-cap-date.html
The Shower Cap Date (1 of 4). Took my hairdresser for drinks. Here's what happened:. Weatherman reckons it's going to rain. Text Emma asking her to bring a brolly - don't want my hair getting wet. We're meeting at the train station in town. I arrive first. iPod's out of battery. Leave one earphone in anyway - make me look hip. The huge glass ceiling is covered in bird droppings. Constellations start to emerge - it's like staring at the stars. Just been looking at the pigeon poo,". I say, to break the ice.
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: The New Trainers (2 of 4)
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2009/12/new-trainers.html
The New Trainers (2 of 4). Taking the hairdresser for a curry tonight. Second date. Planning on bringing her back to mine after. Check bedside cabinet for condoms. The packet's full. Spot some old fungal cream - best hide that. Sling my sheets in the washer. Hopefully she'll be doing this for me soon. My trainers look a bit scruffy. Think I'll head to town for some new ones - if I. Have a nice evening it's a good investment. Another time. x. Finally send a casual message back. Hey, no worries. Hope t...
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: The Love Doctor (1 of 3)
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2010/05/love-doctor.html
The Love Doctor (1 of 3). Went on a date with Marie, the 32-year-old GP who I met on Plentyoffish.com. We arranged to hook up at a bar in Liverpool city centre. Here's what happened:. Get to the pub dead on time. No sign of my date. Ask for a Corona. Barmaid corks it with a hefty chunk of shrivelled lime. Force the little bugger down the bottleneck with my thumb. Order her a vodka and lemo while she commandeers a sofa, smoothing the back of her dress before sinking into its leather upholstery. Now I've r...
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: My novels...
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2014/04/the-best-thing-that-never-happened-to-me.html
The Night That Changed Everything is my second novel co-written with Laura Tait. I write the male character and Laura the female, so you get dual perspectives in alternate chapters. It is a story of love and loss, and is available from all good bookshops, Amazon. Or Apple's iBooks store. Our first novel, a story of being reunited with 'the one that got away', reached number one on iBooks and you can get it from Amazon. And most good bookshops. I like this picture. September 11, 2015. Page views - 487,568.
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: The Bombshell (4 of 4)
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2010/01/bombshell.html
The Bombshell (4 of 4). The wintery weather brought Liverpool to a standstill yesterday, so I challenged my hairdresser to a snowball fight down the beach. Little did I know she was about to drop a bombshell. This is what happened:. Doorbell rings twice in quick succession. She's 15 minutes early. Obviously desperate to see me. Our wellies crunch into the fresh snow as we stride carefully down the street. My date crouches to prepare a snowball but her aim is well off. You throw like a girl,". Well, actua...
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: Plentymorefishoutofwater Serialised
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2009/11/plentymorefishoutofwater-is-being.html
Just a quickie to reveal my blog is being serialised on popular local radio station Juice FM. One of my dating posts will be read out every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at around 8pm for the next month. It's billed as Sex and the City - but without the sex, because this blogger doesn't get any sex. They wrote that bit. The DJ asked if I could provide 12 real-life stories - and each has now been recorded. Fish out of water. One mans dating diary. Do you hate it too? If youre going through Hell, keep going.
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: Singles' Night at Tesco
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2009/09/singles-night-at-tesco.html
Singles' Night at Tesco. We're discussing dating in the canteen. Eve, our luscious receptionist, reckons we should all get down to Tesco one Friday after work. Apparently it's singles' night. Unofficially, like. People are dismissive - no one's heard of it. I keep schtum. Need to do a big shop anyway; got no plans Friday. It's on. Head down about 8pm, a splash of Calvin Klein still soaking into my face, neck and crotch. It's all a bit quiet. Probably doesn't liven up 'til the pubs chuck out. A white shir...
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Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary: The Home Visit (2 of 3)
http://www.plentymorefishoutofwater.com/2010/06/home-visit.html
The Home Visit (2 of 3). So my date with Marie the doctor went well and I ended up getting invited back to her house for a nightcap. Here's what happened next:. Everything's a bit bare I'm afraid - I've just moved in.". Marie slings her keys towards a hall table. Misses by a good foot. A single, vile attempt at modern art decorates the magnolia hallway. My nephew did that,". He's got autism.". My date strides upstairs and into the bedroom without looking back. Linger by the door, unsure whether to follow.