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Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Monday, February 28, 2005. How to Waste a Billion Dollars. Steve Fawcett, a rich guy who doesn't like sitting around his house, is going to try flying a plane. Around the world. Before this, he flew around the world in a hot-air balloon. Before that, he flew around his living room with a couple of feathers shoved up his ass. What is it with billionaires that they feel driven to do shit like this? He's the best our country's got, Timmy, and I want you to kneel ...
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HAIRSHIRT
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Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Tuesday, November 30, 2004. The Passion of the Ken. Iâ m sorry. Iâ m having a tough time writing right now. Iâ I canâ t seem to make heads or tails of the world at the moment. I feel like Iâ ve had the rug pulled out from under me. Ken Jennings lost on. He lost. I donâ t know if I can go on with life. I watched the whole thing. I watched as he missed two Double Jeopardy questions. Now, I wouldnâ t have known the answers, but Ken? He seemed to know everything&#...
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HAIRSHIRT
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Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Sunday, October 31, 2004. I'm going nuts here. I really am. I just wrote this long, unfunny shpiel about the loss of civility between Republicans and Democrats this election that was as sad and humorless as Carrot Top. Here's why:. I went to Democratic Headquarters on 44th today to buy a new anti-Bush button. I chose the simple design with "Bush" in a circle with a line through it. Fairly straightforward, right? Want Bush to win. It puts me on? Okay, well, I g...
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HAIRSHIRT
http://hairshirt.blogspot.com/2005_06_01_hairshirt_archive.html
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Wednesday, June 29, 2005. Make for a very festive 4th of July celebration, Aries, but you need to ask yourself if a nursing home dining room is the right place for that sort of display. Your self-esteem soars to new heights this week when not one but four men ask for your phone number. Okay, two of them are cops, one's a customer service rep for Verizon and the fourth is your uncle who needs to reprogram his cell phone, but dammit, you're in demand. You find y...
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HAIRSHIRT
http://hairshirt.blogspot.com/2004_09_01_hairshirt_archive.html
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Wednesday, September 29, 2004. We join the presidential debate already in progress.). Moderator: Mr. President, many people have criticized your administration for the unilateral approach you took toward the war in Iraq. If you had it to do over again, would you heed the advice of the world community and give the U.N. weapons inspectors more time to find evidence of weapons of mass destruction? Well how many cans of Pabst can you do outta one beer bong? Modera...
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HAIRSHIRT
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Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Tuesday, May 31, 2005. The al-Zarqawi Tape (Hairshirt has uncovered a copy of the tape sent from Iraqi insurgent leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi to Osama Bin Laden). Joe # 6:34 PM. Deep Throat (Not the Porn One, Though). One of the most intriguing mysteries of the 20th century was solved today, at least according to an article. Can it truly be this easy, though? Are we to simply accept the word of this doddering old guy who maybe just wants a little attention?
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HAIRSHIRT
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Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Sunday, October 05, 2014. I Sense Some Disturbing Shit in the Force. I keep a blog for my science classes. Someplace for families to go to look for information on what we're doing in class; resources to help them study; shout-outs to students who excel. That kind of stuff. To make sure that families weren't going to last year's website by mistake, I decided this morning to put one last post on the old blogs with links to the new ones. Let me try to get my head...
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HAIRSHIRT
http://hairshirt.blogspot.com/2012/06/on-fainting.html
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Saturday, June 02, 2012. When I think of passing out, the image in my mind tends to be of women in 1930s comedies, falling into Harpo Marxâ s arms or maybe flopping onto a fainting couch, the very name of which implies a gentle end to losing consciousness. If you stop and really consider it, though, it doesnâ t come across as something akin to diving into a pool of velvet. I mean, one second, youâ re standing upright. Head as high as it will go. As I waited fo...
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HAIRSHIRT
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Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Friday, December 16, 2011. Why I Will Miss Christopher Hitchens. There are things in life over which we have absolutely no control. Strike that. Let me say, instead: over the vast majority of things in our lives, we have absolutely no control. We cannot control the actions of our friends and family. We cannot control disease. We cannot control how others perceive us, as much as Scientology wants us to think we can. Interesting tidbit: I could not for the life ...
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HAIRSHIRT
http://hairshirt.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_hairshirt_archive.html
Helping You Get the Most Out of Your Misery. Friday, August 27, 2004. Wouldn't you think our currency would be worth a bit more? US Olympic Basketball Team Acquits Itself With Grace and Humility in Athens Games. Political Pundits Call This Presidential Election "The Most Cordial Ever". Governor James McGreevey and Wife Renew Vows in Governor's Mansion Ceremony. TV Networks Vow: No More Reality Shows. What Were We Thinking? Shiite Radicals in Najaf Throw Impromptu Fundraiser for Bush Campaign. We got to t...
